Healthy Boundaries

A good way to keep relationships with your friends or with your dating partner healthy and secure is by creating boundaries.  You can have a better understanding of the type of relationship you want by setting boundaries together.  Boundaries should not make you feel “trapped,” and are not a sign of secrecy or distrust.  It is what makes you feel comfortable and expresses what each of you wants out of the relationship.

Healthy boundaries should not limit your ability to:

*Go out with friends

*Participate in activities and hobbies you enjoy

*Keep passwords to your email, social media accounts or phone private

*Respect one another’s individual likes and needs

You will have different boundaries with different people in your life, so be clear about them so that others understand your limitations.  They are the structure for your relationships.  Weak boundaries can result in:

*Becoming a victim                            *Inability to say “no”

*Extreme dependency                        *Blaming

*Feeling overwhelmed                       *One-sided relationships with no “give and take”

 

Healthy boundaries may include:

*”I care about you, but I cannot take away your problems.”

* I need time to be alone.

* I will not be the object of rage.

* I can disagree with you and still care about you.

* I form my own opinions.

* I only accept phone calls until 9:00 P. M. unless there is an emergency.

* I will not allow others to make me feel guilty or bad about myself.

* I will not do something for you that you are able to do yourself

Several key areas of our lives should be protected by personal boundaries:

*TIME – Friends should not drop by unexpectedly or make unreasonable demands of your time.  Could someone else easily complete one of your tasks?

*EMOTIONS – Protect your loving and caring nature.  Friends may say or do hurtful things (sometimes unintentionally) that damage our emotions and hurt our hearts.  Thoughtless behavior is also hurtful.

*YOUR ENERGY is the source from which you function and can come from your “alone time,” your inner peace, activities that you enjoy, etc.  When others invade your privacy, create turmoil, make unreasonable demands, keep you from prayer or meditation, (robbing you of this energy) you are less likely to function effectively.

* PERSONAL VALUES OR AREAS IMPORTANT TO YOU – Anything in your life that is important to you like personal values, needs, good grades, family, friends, hobbies or involvement in activities can benefit from boundaries.  Can you think of any areas of our life that need boundaries?

Feel free to call 992-2067 with any questions.

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